Grocery Store Douche

I dated this douche for about 5 and a half years. We met when I was 18 and he was my first and only long term relationship. I was never really interested in dating before and always enjoyed being on my own. But this time I gave in and after two weeks of hanging out we started dating. The relationship moved fast and after 10 months of dating, we moved in together to a city about an hour away from home. Things were great in the beginning. 

After about the second year of dating I took a trip to Chicago to visit a friend. We had a good night out and I talked to this douche constantly to keep him updated on what we were doing so he wouldn't have to worry. I should have been the one worried. When I returned home, I had this weird feeling in my stomach (always trust your gut). I checked his phone (once you look through someone's phone, that is really it, there is no trust) and I found a Bill in his phone. Weird, he doesn't know a Bill. I call it and I get a chick's voicemail. A chick he dated before he dated me. The text messages to Bill stated that he couldn't wait to hang out this weekend. Go figure the one weekend I'm gone, having fun with girlfriends and constantly thinking of him and missing him (yuck). When I confronted him he stated she contacted him first and they never hung out. I'm stupid and let it slide.

Three years of dating now and I start to get weird feelings about the people he worked with. He worked and still works at a grocery store in the grocery department and for some reason thinks he is hot shit doing so. We would go grocery shopping there and he always seemed to try to hide me. He would go out with his co-workers but never once had he invited me to join. I'm fine about doing your own thing and having independence in a relationship, but once again, it was like he was trying to "hide" me.  There was a very nice pretty girl that worked there and he always acted different around her.  One night, when he was out with all of his co-workers, I got a weird feeling again.  The next day I looked through his phone (yes obviously the trust is not there if I had to yet again do this) and I found a message to this pretty girl “see you sooner than later sweetheart”  WTF?!  He never ever in our five year relationship called me sweetheart, but some girl that he barely knew, or so I thought at least.  After confronting him, I get yelled at for looking through his phone again and him being so sick of me not trusting him (this will be a reoccurring theme).  Well douche, now I have multiple reasons why you can’t be trusted.  I let this slide again.  Stupid, stupid me.

He also had a particular co-worker who he always went out with who could also be on this website. My douche would always tell me about how this co-worker douche would cheat on his girlfriend and always told my douche “who cares cheat on her” (me). So comforting. This co-worker douche cheated on his girlfriend (who is my good friend now) with another co-worker all the time. But then his girlfriend tells me that the girl her boyfriend cheated on her with also was with my douche. I confront him. He denies. Go figure. But then gets pissed at me for not trusting him. Well one night he decided to bring me out with his co-workers. I was excited we were actually hanging out outside of being stuck in the apartment (he was so boring he didn't like to do anything; at least with me). On our way to meet everyone I notice he's acting weird. Something was up and he eventually said he was worried people would talk about this “rumor” of him making out with his co-worker in front of me and he thought it would be weird.  I still to this day don’t know if he did, I’m sure he did. He turned around and we never met his co-workers out.

4 years into dating now.  One night when I came home from a night out with my girlfriends, I pull up in our driveway next to a car.  He’s in it with another chick.  Yes, a co-worker.  That was it.  I flipped out and broke up with him.  For a week.  I shouldn’t have wasted another year and a half on him but I lived with him and felt “stuck”.  I was “comfortable” and it was all that I knew.  I gave it another shot.  I’m dumb.

Towards the end of our relationship things went downhill fast.  He was going out a lot with a co-worker, one of our mutual friends, and these two girls.  One of these girls becomes a friend of his one Facebook.  Yes, he has many girls that are friends on Facebook.  But once again, I got a gut feeling about this girl.  I asked him about her, he flips out and says just trust me it’s a friend.  I ask our mutual friend if he cheated on me with her.  He says no but my douche did tell him he thought this girl was hot and I guess was constantly talking to her while they were out.  Well, one night he didn’t come home and said he was staying at his co-workers house.  I couldn’t sleep.  He ALWAYS came home and hated sleeping places.  I did something I never thought I would ever do because I thought it would make me seem psycho.  I drove past his co-workers house.  His car wasn’t there.  I finally get a hold of him and he yells at me for driving past, calling me crazy, and not trusting him.  I’m heartbroken and I have no idea why I didn’t just end it there.  The next night, it’s 3 am, and he’s still not home.  He doesn’t answer his phone.  At about 4 am he calls and tells me not to worry and that he was with our mutual friend at Perkin’s.  I knew it was a lie.  I called our mutual friend who told me he has never been to Perkin’s with my douche.  I was so numb I had no feelings whatsoever, and kept this shitty relationship going.

A day passes and I’m sitting in class and I get a TEXT MESSAGE from him when he’s at work saying he can’t do this anymore and he can’t stand me not trusting him.  He doesn’t want me to come home until whenever because he wants to move his shit out of our apartment to his sister’s.  I’m crying (not worth my tears) and try calling him back over and over again looking for answers and he sends me straight to voicemail.  I get home and all of his shit is gone. 

I find out about two days later he’s dating this girl that I suspected on Facebook.  She sends me hate texts from his phone saying “He’s my man now”.  “I got your man.”  I couldn’t eat or sleep.  My life felt ruined (later I realize this was the best thing that ever happened to me).  Well that relationship lasted about two weeks and after it ended he asked if we could get dinner and I said HELL NO.  Then I asked if he could bring me boxes from his grocery store for moving and he tells me yes, but I’ll have to keep my hands off of him because he looks hot in his new yellow shirt.  (He got promoted to an assistant grocery manager position and for some reason thought that would excite me).  NOT.

That was the last that I had talked to that douche.  From what I know now, he just moved in with one of his co-workers that I think he has been dating her for about a year now.  He loves his co-workers.  I see him out every once in a while and he avoids me at all costs as if I did something wrong but I find it funny.  After he broke up with me he accused me of sleeping with all of his guy friends.  I didn’t sleep with them, but I did hang out with many of our mutual guy friends, because I guess they liked me better than him so it pissed him off.  About a week ago I saw him out and I was with a guy so he thought it would be clever to yell out “yeah guess what, she sucks in bed.”  Nice one douche.  I think it eats him alive to see how well off I am doing.

 I have been single for over a year now and loving every minute of it, and am not even interested in being in one.  I’ll take the day as it comes.  I have made so many new friends, graduated nursing school and did things I never thought I would such as skydiving (he held me back so much).  I have learned so much about myself also.  I “saw” a few people here and there since, but ultimately realized this is my time and I need to focus on myself.  I don’t need anyone to make me happy and I will never ever settle.  I will never be in a relationship to be in one and will never let it get to the point that I stay because it is all that I know.  Although I do think I wasted my time, I know that this has made me a stronger and better person.