Phone Call Douche

My story is about “the serial commitments with the wrong girls and passing up the right girl doesn’t make me a commitment-phobe” guy.

We met online.  I’m not going to knock that aspect of it, because several of my friends and family members have found husbands that way.  However, 39, never married, no kids should have been an immediate red flag.  We talked on the phone before meeting and I was instantly hooked.  I’ve never clicked with anyone so instantly.  And when we met, it was the most amazing first date ever.  My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.  I seriously thought this guy was perfect for me. 

Early on, things were going phenomenally well.  He met my daughter and we spent Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve together.  He told me we were going to be together forever, and would tell me how he might propose or how we’d announce our engagement to our friends.  I know you’re thinking it was too soon, but I thought I stumbled on that once in a life time “we just knew” kind of love so many other people find.  I’m not a hopeless romantic, or ever believed in love at first sight, but this guy was going to be “it” for me. 

Then things started getting strange.  I’d ask him a question, I mean it’s a new relationship and the only way I know to get to know someone better is to ask questions and have a conversation. But he’d get oddly defensive.  He owned his own business and had an odd schedule, so I asked him about what his typical day was like and he responded something like “I’ve spent hours on the phone discussing things with girls from my past, and I’m not going to do that with you.” And he hung up on me. But I thought he was a guy with a good heart, so I looked past some of his “quirks.” 

He had mentioned to me that several girls in his past, including a former fiancée, had cheated on him or with him, and some other girls ‘were mean’ to him.  He’d vaguely mention ex-girlfriends in conversations but I never thought much of it because I’m not mean, a liar or a cheater.  I really tried to go out of his way to let him know that I valued him in my life, and that I loved being “his girl.”  I’d make him dinner, or his favorite cookies, keep a stock of his favorite stuff at my house for when he came over, took care of him when he was sick, helped with stuff for his business.  Really so many little, but thoughtful things, I have no idea how I could have been lumped with the “mean girls” from his past. I kept hoping he’d start appreciating me for the woman that I am, and things would be great between us.  I mean, I thought he was “The One,” and I was determined not to not lose this relationship. 

He invites me to his business’ grand re-opening party (which he had claimed was the reason he was so stressed and not being a good boyfriend lately).  I meet his parents, brother, some of his friends and most of his clients.  His mom was a sweetheart and called me the cookie girl, his dad kept taking pictures with me and calling me his new best friend.  Heck, he even told his dad to be nice to me “because he’s keeping me around for a long time.”  After the opening, we go do drinks with his clients and people that helped get the grand opening together. They all seemed to really like me, and commented on how much he and I seemed perfect for each other.  He shows me text messages he’s getting from his friends/family about how perfect we are for each other. Honestly, things could have been any better.

The very next day he calls and tells me, I’m a really sweet girl, but there’s something deep inside him that’s holding him back from giving 100% to the relationship, and he no longer thinks it’s going to work out.  And that’s the last I heard from him.