Ridiculous Douche

I dated this douche for just short of 4 years. It started out all happy and was wonderful. I was 18(and clearly, naive), he was 21. 

He was a bartender in the big city and used to offer to get me drunk at his bar and what not. We flirted forever and it would make my week talking to him. 

Then I found out he was engaged. I confronted him and he told me how they had only been together for a few months and she proposed to him and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings, she bought her own ring etc etc. They broke up and got back together and she decided they were still engaged. He didn’t have the balls to say anything (a common theme). 

ANYWHO, they broke up and we started dating. 2 weeks into the relationship he proclaimed his love for me while crying, he of course included the “I know this sounds crazy but”. It was great until he started telling me these completely unbelievable things about his past. Things that I believed anyway. At first he had a car, then got it repossessed because he didn’t feel like paying for it, after asking to hide it at my parents’ house. But I was so happy to be with someone so great (I’m not really sure why I thought he was so great in retrospect), I didn’t mind that he didn’t let me go out with my friends, or go to parties He was older than me so he clearly must know more. About a month into the relationship he started talking about getting married and how if we made it to 2 years he knew it was meant to be, cause I would be his longest relationship. He talked about how he would propose on our second anniversary and all of this stuff. Talked about how he wanted kids and all kinds of stuff. Notice I say he said it, I was never the first person to talk about this stuff, because I did not want to look like a crazy clingy girlfriend. SO I thought his talking about it was great! He would even buy me wedding magazines! We went so far as to actually plan out things for a wedding and plan out when we’d talk about having kids. We even started looking at houses! These were the “good” things. These were the things that made me overlook the abundance of “bad” things. Things like not letting me go out with my friends, without him. Any time I drank he would start a fight and yell at me (he didn’t drink). Then he would buy me liquor, and ask why I wasn’t drinking it, or why I didn’t just drink at home, why I wanted to go out. Things like going to family parties and bitching and complaining the whole time, or better yet FALLING ASLEEP ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR. Or if it was at our house (we lived with my parents) he would claim he needed to go to sleep, and then go play World of Warcraft instead. Now, don’t get me wrong, I also like playing but I know that it is just a game. He did not. He would stay up to all hours of the night playing and ignoring me. He would then have to get up for work in the morning and bitch about how tired he was. I wouldn’t, even though I had to try to sleep with all the lights on and all of his “friends” talking to him through the speakers. He would yell at me if I didn’t tell him I was going anywhere via text while he was at work. He kept tabs on me all the time, and got mad if I didn’t reply fast enough. I dropped him off at the train station in the morning, and picked him up at night. If I wasn’t waiting for him at the train station when he got there, he would get mad. I spent half my day at a train station it seemed. I let him borrow my car whenever he wanted, he even had it all day on Sundays which meant I couldn’t do anything while he was working. One night we had dinner reservations with a huge chunk of my family (some from the other side of the country), and when it was time to leave the house to meet them he said “it wasn’t an option” because he was in the middle of something in the game. So I left him at home and went by myself and had to cover for him. Yet I stayed, or let him stay rather. Every one around me saw how miserable I was, but I convinced myself that it was my lot in life to be with him, that no one else would want to be with me. Then Christmas eve came around. On the drive to his parents’ house he simply told me that I made him miserable. I made him miserable… He couldn’t explain how, or why he felt that way. Or what I had done. It surely wasn’t the cheap place to live my parents were giving him, the free food he ate,  the fact that every morning I had to get up and drive him to work or the train station, or how I made my work and school schedule around his so I could drive him everywhere. I told him to figure it out and let me know. Christmas came, and he stayed at his parents a lot longer than normal, but he had my car so I knew he would come home. And he did, around 10pm. When we went to bed he told me how he didn’t want to get married, or have kids, or a house. I had nothing to say to this so I went to sleep (at least I tried). The next morning, while I drove him to work, he told me that he’d rather be miserable with me than have a chance at happiness without. I dropped him off at the station and went for a drive, crying the whole time. I decided that it had to end, and I realized that just like with everything else in our relationship I had to be the one to do it. I told him not to come home and wed talk tomorrow. He freaked out because his laptop was at my house, I countered with something along the lines of “suck it up”. He kept texting me for hours with me saying non-committal things, and telling him to stop talking to me for a while because I didn’t want to do it over text, and couldn’t talk because I was with my little cousin. The next day I left his “essential items” (his laptop) at his parents apartment. I told him it was over and he kept saying things like “no I decided I want to be with you, if you just let me come home I could fix this” but I knew better than to fall for it again. Over the next few weeks he texted me every day begging me to take him back. Then letting me know he was going to go on a cross country trip to “grow up”, because clearly that’s what it means when you go spend your life savings on a trip instead of getting a car or an apartment.  He also let me know that he was spending all of his savings on it, and that if we got back together after his trip, I wouldn’t be getting a ring. I deleted him from my facebook and he freaked out within a half an hour (proof he was facebook stalking me) and asking my friends everything about it. He kept messaging me things like “I’ll always love you” or “I changed for you”. Long texts that just went on and on and I wanted no part of. So I burned that bridge! 4 months later I’m living life to the fullest and he’s dating some new girl (and talking about marriage via facebook), we all assume she has a car. I decided to not date anyone for a while, but when I do I have all kinds of red flags I won’t let go again! I could say a lot more, but I’m using this as a way of getting over it, and I think I’ve said enough!

Editor's Note:  You do know that SHE DID not ask him to marry him, right?  I do not want to insult your intelligence - I am sure you know this. But I seriously laughed out loud when I read that - I have NEVER heard that one before - and I have read a lot of stuff here.  This was a good submission and I am glad this site could be a part of you MOVING ON!  Have a good summer! xo